25 random things

hmm saw this facebook tag.. and since its been a while i posted.. this gives me a good reason to break that gap..
1. I love Red... absolutely anything in Red would be grabbed by me.
2. I am not a very brand-conscious person.. as long as it fits the purpose i am not too concerned about who it is named after..
3. I am a complete sucker for books.. a bibliophile. I could sit down with a cup of coffee and a book any place, any time.
4. i love coffee. i am one of those weird ppl who can be both put to sleep or made to stay awake by a cup of coffee.
5. this is far more difficult than i thought it would be.
6. i love train-travelling in india.. the fact that i get to meet complete strangers , "hang-out" with them and actually get away wit having some fun.
7. i like talking to myself. i love the company unquestionably, and no strings attached. seriously its worth a try !
8. patrick dempsey is hot.
9. i love my mothers cooking. there is no substitute for it. may be its the louwe :P
10. i love random night walks. in fact thats how i got to know my best-friend cum boy.
11. i love to dream. be it day or night. one of the reasons i seldom get bored.
12. i have very few friends, bt ones that i can call anytime of the night or day, to ask the most hideously ridiculous questions.
13. as weird as it sounds, i love to see boy walk. its one of those few things i ve unconsciously loved(as of now.)
14. gosh i cant believe i still have 11 more to go !
15. i love chit-chatting with my dad. the most mundane topics turn out interesting.
16. i prefer the quiet to the fun and popular. their stories are so much more interesting.
17. i do late-nights a lot. and glad, boy does too. just cant imagine myself with a morning bird.
18. i love shopping for ear-rings. i never have enough ! i dont like to deck up much, but ear-rings are something i pick after considerable deliberation.
19. i donot believe in the concept of honeymoon. i love hanging out with boy, donot need a reason or an occasion.
20. i am reallly bad with directions. i cannot give the cabbie directions to my place from the department and know i never will, in the future.
21. some day i want to write a book.
22. nothing like a hard cider, or vodka-tonic, after a long week. do not have a thing for fancy drinks.
23. my latest craze is weight-loss(and for good reason too!;)
24. i find it difficult to study with out music.
25. as geeky as this sounds, i am glad this is The End. really need to get back to organometallics!

The post without a title .....

This post does not have a title. Not because I have run out of ideas or creative titles, but because not a single title I can think of, encompasses or represents what I am yet to say. Some times life just leaves you with spaces, and you realize you have no more colors to fill them with.
They say the most unadulterated form of love is that which a mother has for her child. They say that the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. and when that love becomes adulterated, the world gets shattered. Fair enough.
Success, I am told, is a culmination of several factors, like hard work, continued persistent effort, market forces, upbringing and cultural legacy. But really, it is nothing to do with these. Eventually it boils down to, whom you love and who you are loved by. Sounds corny isn't it ?
I know this man, who has worked day and night, not for days or weeks but for over 15 yrs, to provide for his family, his parents.. to give his children the best possible education, but more than providing them with the best opportunities, he has himself served as an example of continued dedication for a cause he believed in, his principles guiding the children unwaveringly through out their lives, seeing them through their ups and downs. He gave up his job, and career, to take care of his aging parents, back home. The transition proved more difficult than he thought, he learnt to give in, value his parent's sentiments more than what he stood for.
But life is seldom smooth,right? Just when you think things are going fine, life decided to give him the first and (probably) the last blow. It gave a whole new meaning to "parents" and made him question their "love" for him. He is still duty-bound, but defeat is just 'round the corner.
Where has he gone wrong, I cannot tell. Some times even the most perfectly fit jigsaw puzzles need to be scrambled, de-cluttered, to give way to new ones.
He is trying to move on, the past catches up at times and at other times, the burden becomes unbearable. I cannot tell you how much it pains me to see him through this. Not because he is in pain, but because life seems to have hit the totally wrong person this time. The math of it, is just above me.
I fervently hope, coz hope is all that I can do, hope that there is a new and a better meaning to this, the slate has been empty for too long, I hope the end, makes the means worthy.

Language as a barrier.... ?

In the past 23 yrs of my life, I have lived in 4 countries. I have friends with contrasting backgrounds, cultures and faiths. In fact when it comes to friendship, one's nationality or belief, hardly matters. At least in my case, what has mattered, is the chord I have been able to strike with the other half. Off late I have noticed that one of the main elements of an effective communication; the Language, has often been convoluted in its purpose for coming into being. Why would we need a language ? - so that we can convey our ideas effectively, most importantly, in order to communicate. However unfortunate as it may seem, many exploit the Language as a means to bond with people. As long as the other person understands you, your beliefs and there is some common understanding between two people, I do not see how either side's native language matters? But I have seen so many people who were otherwise nice / sensible (what ever you choose to call it), but when it comes to good friends, they would choose to be in the company of people who were only from a similar state/nation/city/(needless to say who shared the same native language) as they. I have been in the company of such people, and I find it intriguing, because at times, the only thing these folks share, is their language. Yes I agree, there are certain things peculiar to a certain language, things that lose their beauty/effect once translated. However I do not see how or why language, meant to be a bridge, is used to build fences. Sometimes its good to glorify your culture, your life-styles, however, when the same come in the way of your accepting others and their differences, it is time to move on. One's growth is often associated with academics/achievements, however I firmly believe that your growth as an individual, lies in these small issues that characterize you, beliefs that you stand up for, your principles/convictions and most importantly, your ability to accept people for what they are, rather than question their identity. Yes disagreements arise, not everyone might come up to your standards, not everyone might be able to appreciate your culture/history, as well as your fellow-men, however those friends are definitely worthy of you, who care for you despite these differences, be it cultural/belief-wise. It is easy to associate with people, who share a common background, not much of an effort is required to interact with such people, however when you are able to strike a chord with those from a different background than your own, I think it is important to cherish that relationship.
I am one of those few people who believe that differences can be used to bridge rather than break. After all isn't variety the spice of life! ;)

arbit expressions

sadness creeps in as imperceptibly as the dusk that fades into darkness, without even leaving a trace of its existence behind, and yet, as gradually as ever. do the final rays of dusk, carry any hope? or do they promise a false sense of hope? something that all of us need to move on. Is everything really what we choose to make out of it?
What happens if the boat sinks just when the shore comes into view? does that fall under success or failure? do varying shades of grey exist? Does there have to be joy behind every laugh? Why pay for fake flowers when we get real ones? May be the ever-lasting freshness of the fake ones (irrespective of how much ever fake they are) is appealing, real flowers will eventually wilt, and it will be time to move on again.
How ever fast you move, the past does catch up. Deeply-buried questions have an uncanny tendency of rising up at the most unexpected moments. A pleasing exterior but one which is shallow from within, is no different from a shadow. Acceptance is important, however, the truth can never be ignored for long, it does show up, and leave one stranded, yet, its a short road that takes one to the joys of being a bystander.

There is nothing like returning...

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered... I will definitely want to go back to leeds at some point in future..though there's no guarantee it would not have changed, however, I will still want to see if and how it has changed, and how my perspectives have changed over the years, it will make me conscious of the "growing up" process I guess, which as of now, seems very nebulous to me;).. That one year has taught me so much, I will want to take a walk down the memory lane in a truly physical sense. Its like the bystander watching himself take the course he once did, that eventually brought him to the spot hes now arrived at. Most of us like to carry the pleasant memories from our experiences, but I presume such a visit, would help me take a detached look at the reasons and the general process of change that took place with in me, which forms an elemental aspect of my identity, at the present.
The green meadow from my bedroom window, the fading highway lights in the distance, which at that point symbolised the contours of that which was known to me then, hyde park, the newspaper stand opposite the school of chemistry, and the walk to my favorite cafe, past the park.. all this forms a quintessential part of my time in leeds. But when I look back at it, there was some thing more to this, more than just these elements, I guess, its probably because all of them have seen me through my ups and downs, the best and the worst, the person in me that grew confident and independent, having this awareness of how being "me" has changed after the time spent in leeds.
Yes I think would echo that There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered... for isn't life all about the journey we take and the person we turn out to be when we think we have arrived at our destinations :)

Mind-blockers

Have you ever been faced with a situation where you get to know this person and gel in well as you dig deeper and deeper. And when everything is going smooth, and you actually want to take another step forward, there come path blockers !? Some trivial issue, that happens, starting as something small, but eventually ends up gnawing its way into a major chunk of your time?
This has happened with me, not once, but twice. And you actually begin to wonder, if the person is what you think they are, if its a one-way ticket you have got yourself into, or if the situation brings you together, but no amount of time/efforts can actually endow a future to the relationship?
Are these signs that are meant to be or, am I complicating it? As the music and lyrics song goes, I am unable to see the stars in the sky, they aren't shining bright enough and yet, I need a way back into love.
I am glad that I have two people whom I can share everything with, who know me in an unadulterated sense, that only those few special people can know you. The world and more importantly success, for me would not be the same if I did not have these two folks to share it with. I know that how much ever I want to be alone, at any point, I still secretly yearn for these two people to be with me, for a shoulder to lean on. I guess all of us are like that. I might want to be by myself to collect my thoughts, but once done, I will definitely want to share it with both of them. It helps me clear up, rejuvenate and most importantly, know that I am loved and missed.

One hot summer afternoon....

As I looked for means to kill time, I stumbled upon this blog titled “Regrets”, which seemed to arouse an interest in my philosophically bent, (and utterly bored mind). Unfortunately, sleep is something that tags along, on the mention of a humid, summer afty. However, sleep, in this case, had managed to completely evade the seeker, and it is, but unfortunate, that I have not been endowed with the talent of catnapping.

And so, as my hungry eyes, searched for anything soporific (if not intellectually stimultating!) they came across the book titled “Screw It, Lets do It !”. Ahaaa.. sounds like a definite good bye to my ever-so faithful ennui! Now this is when, esnips becomes a god-sent gift, for financially challenged students (saying students is not self-evident apparently!;) like me, definitely, do not consider “buying” a plausible circumstance;) (who says knowledge is free!?)

For those ignorants ! (yes I am exercising my right to freedom of speech;), I am actually quite tempted to say “Hail ye ignorants!”,(see how bored one can get ?!), however, I refrain, for saying so, would provide the nicest possible excuse for You to yescape (in true vivek ishtyle, although am too lazy to type so many a’s :P). Ok, cutting short the circuitous prose, the author of this book happens to be Richard Branson, the founder of the Virgin Group (Virgin airlines, rail, mobile and so on… ).

Having been almost half-way through the book, I can assure you,that the book does not add on to the pile of self-improvement prophecies published everyday (that sooo often claim to be otherwise, in fact I have heard they are coming up with a How To Sleep while watching your Eyelids, one as well)…. Fortunately, Richard does not tell his readers what to do, BUT what has worked for him. He also makes it quite clear that he’s been lucky a couple of times, in his most life-threatening endeavours.. where most of the other authors rule out the possibility of luck and wholly focus on hard work, I appreciate the fact that Richard, does accept, not all is in our hands.

Calculative risks, challenges, responsibilities, smart planning and living life to the fullest, are some things I have picked up from this book. Regrets, ofcourse, an essential part of life, something that reminds us of what all we might have lost, if we had not regretted the past and treated the present as a “present” !;)

But the most important thing I have picked up from this book, is none of the above.

One of the reasons I foresee my future in a pharma firm (JUST one of the reasons !), is that we often need something tangible , to assess our worth, and ofcourse, for personal satisfaction as well. Sometimes, the quest for truth or knowledge is JUST not enough. I agree that an academic career pursuing research is very intellectually rewarding, but at the end of a tiresome day, with nothing worthy to be titled “RESULTS”, phrases like “quest for truth”, remain exactly that ; mere phrases. And so I thought, that a position as a research scientist in a pharma, would not only allow me to carry on research(commercial, but so what?), but provide a financial tangibility to the job. Before you mistake this as a hidden passion for money-making, I must tell you I have never really had any inclination towards making fortunes, nor has it ever thrilled me. However, it would just form a good take home package, when on those blue days, I have nothing to derive from the job.

Richard however, has shattered all such ideas. “If something stops being fun, donot do it anymore!”, seems to be the explicitly highlighted motto of his book. The void created by any activity can never be filled in by “money”, it is something that just comes along, but not, something one must seek, as a sole source of contentment. Money-seekers, never reach their destinations ! I have learnt to segregate, the remuneration, from what I would love to do, irrespective of what I would get back. And neither does money add purpose or meaning to what we do. It IS purchasing power, but never something to be purchased, in return for ones contentment and self-deprivation.

The prospect of joining a pharma still interests me, but one of the reasons for doing so has now ceased to exist !