happiness

I am currently reading paul coelho's eleven minutes. I have just begun, and already, there are questions in my mind, and since its a warm sunday morning, what better way to kick start the day, than sit with a cup of hot coffee, and take a leisurely mental walk :)

And by the way, I would really like to find a better way of making double cream coffee, if its not satisfactorily made, you not only end up having a bad "kaapi day", but your "weight" conscience snaps you out of your senses, to give you an early morning briefing on how much you have grown sideways!.... while if the coffee satiates you, it takes you to a different realm, where you only meet people with a similar taste for kaapi, and u seldom take your conscience with you to this realm!

And so thee sits to pen down thee thoughts :D
happiness... I know what it is, it is this feeling of joy that wells up in you, and you feel carefree, to a certain extent; insouciant, everyone is good (atleast most of them!), in short, the world is beautiful. All your worries and tensions drain out of you, and you feel like a child again, blithely skipping down the road, with the wind hitting your face, no one or nothing can affect you now.
But i must mention, that everyone when feeling happy will definitely have an answer when posed with the reason for their happiness. That is one of the few questions in life that never goes unanswered!. But I was wondering if such a thing as an absolute happiness ever exists? Can I be happy and not have a reason? not assosiate my happiness with any thing living or dead, with any dreams, fulfilled or abandoned? In a nutshell, can I be happy and not have an answer to why I am so? I have never come across such an individual nor have I felt this way. For I feel that this is the kind of happiness that would be everlasting, nothing or noone could snatch it away from you.... its not fettered to anything or anyone in this world, so the question of it being evanescent doesnot arise, for everything connected to this world is evanescent isnt it?

All of us in a way are manacled. some to our dreams, some to our past and some to our future.
in fact, i donot blame this entirely on us, for life is short, unpredictable, so planning for the future is imperative. And no one can move on without having a dream, a purpose. But in that case, as coelho points out, you would be living your future, not the present. infact due to the unpredictability of life in general, all of us are living our future, clinging on to our dreams, they are like the compass that propel the lone ship in the sea, giving it a sense of direction.
And so coming back to our happiness, it is not surprising, that happiness brings along with it, its own baggages.

Coming to think of it, such a simple thing like happiness, is so delusive, it is like the sun, hiding behind the clouds on a very gloomy day. You never know how long the sun is going to shine down on you, and when it is going to back into hiding! This doesnt mean to say that I exhaust all my happiness pondering over how long it is going to exist..

But sometimes I feel that there is no such thing as happiness, it is just a feeling that pervades us, like a mirage in the vast expanse of a desert, to a fatigued traveller, the mirage is a new hope, in fact the mere sight of a mirage a few kilometers away resuscitates him, he moves on with a new pace, but alas!, he realises he can never close down on the pool of water, it remains a vision, the distance to which remains constant with time, but even though the realisation dawns on him, he pushes it back, realising that "knowing" would not keep him alive at this stage. The vision howevevr uncanonical it is, now becomes a part of him, it moves ahead when he moves, and stops when he stops.