sometimes i wonder how relationships work? I have a very cynical attitude towards the inter-personal relationship mumbo-jumbo which most of the relationship experts claim they have understood crystal clear. Sometimes I feel even the strongest will power can not make a relationship click. Ofocurse the fact that you have to try too hard, says a lot of things. On the other hand, nothing is perfect; there are miniature cracks even in the most magnificiently constructed artifacts. Just because they cannot be seen, doesnot mean they donot exist.
I have a fridge door magnet that says "dont try to understand me, just love me". I find that so contradictory. I donot believe in blind love. Yeah i know it does exist, and there is nothing to be judgemental about it. But I would prefer to understand the person whom i love if not completely, atleast a little bit, to ensure that my love is more conscious and driven by my will to love him/her, than just another emotion that i feel for them. sometimes attitudes are not compatible, sometimes outlooks/perspectives aren't and sometimes there is no rhyme or reason. But ultimately, when it becomes impossible to understand another, or the rationality behind their actions or behaviour, loving them becomes difficult. Or ironically, it is still possible to continue loving them, but liking them or sharing yourself with them is impossible. I know a lot of people who love each other, but when it comes to knowing each other, they are as peplexed as the famous hen/egg paradox! There is an ocean of difference between loving and or liking a person, very few are aware of this. Though ideally speaking, when u love each other, you share everything amongst one another, the gaps get bridged. But this seldom happens. Loving and closeness with a person are often mixed. When i love a person and when I am close with one, I mean different things. But ofcourse then the question that automaticaly stems from this is what the origin of love is, or rather what love is. The base line is i have no clue! But I know what it means at a comparitive scale when you love a person and when you like them or may be I don't.
These are things which ui have observed, but obviously everyone has a different story to tell dont they!

i am by nature skeptical about the existence of god as i feel that something that is not based on rational facts and reason can neither be proved nor disproved. But ofcourse there are sects that try to reason this out by using the existence of the clustral series of stones found underwater linking the lanka and kanyakumari, as a proof of Lord Ram's voyage to lanka.
But wasn't history written by man himself?!
But then sometimes i wonder what the whole purpose of religion is? I think its something beyond uniting people, upholding the existence of god or a means to endeavour for the "good" in each one of us. Sometimes i think, its just the underlying faith, that propels the whole notion - amidst the hullabaloo created by various religious sects, this fundamental thread of keeping faith alive in each one of us, gets lost. When there's nothing in life to look forward to , when nothing seems appealing enough to move on, when each step is taken with the utmost pain, its this faith that keeps us alive, because at times, thats the only thing left to cling on to. The faith that hard work always pays, that good always begets good, and finally, its definitely going to rain tomorrow and the exam's going to be postponed..!
The 8 yr old who sits outside her verandah every wednesday waiting for the ice cream vendor to come, the ardent cricket fan who doesnot miss a single over of sachin, afraid he may miss a magnificient four or six, the 25 yr old who believes that she wil definitely earn a phd in another 2 yrs (ok thats not me:P), the 40 yr old who waits every sunday for a bed tea, but finds herself, opening her eyes to a blissfully asleep husband....isnt all this faith?
The belief that there is a supernatural force called God who is the puppet master, is also one such faith. Till now in my life, I have not come across any such person who hasn't had faith in anything. Even those who live life for the moment, "believe" that each moment is countless and hence needs to be lived to the fullest .
And when you look at it this way, it seems ridiculous to fight over one's faith or belief! I donot necessarily like to think the way you think and vice versa, so why should I be hell bent on making you believe in what i believe? When it is so difficult for thoughts to match, is it reasonable to expect faiths or beliefs to be uniform all over?
appalling!!

I have been reading "letters to lily", and saw a movie today. I realise that each of us live life on our own terms and problems arise when we try to set the same standards for others which we set for ourselves. Unfortunately the game all of us play is the same, but the rules we each abide by are different, and this is the root cause of clashes. But how will we live as a society if there are no common standards?, isnt a certain minimal amount of similarity necessary for people to live together? Who sets the rules? Are there always Rights and Wrongs? Again dont they vary with the rules which each one follows? I think, that even the judicial system has its own boundaries, and sometimes the judge's seat remains unoccupied. In some cases it can be replaced by our conscience, but that doesnt that end up being again restricted to an individual? I donot think there are any universal Rights and Wrongs. i think each one of us live in a world of our own. The reason we are living together, is that it so happens, that our worlds actually exist at the same time( I donot say co-exist!). But unfortunately being humans, and having the power to think and feel, we cannot stop ourself from looking at everything and everyone with the same reading frames. And neither does the human mind rest until it has clearly segregated the colors of white and black. Yes grey shades do exist, but does anything actually fall under this category?, do we want to place anything at all under this? Is it wrong to be undecided about things? At any point of time in our lives, can any of us say with conviction that " I am what I am".
I donot think so, for the simple reason, all of us have these little "me's" in us which display themselves at different times, situations and circumstances in our lives. And none of us is aware of this until this "me " actually pops up, that "hey thats actually me!". But there are some of us also who are the same, eternally, who donot find or get a circumstance, situation / opportunity to get away from what we have been all this while. And no one knows this, neither us nor anyone. Some of us may be aware of it, but keep it tethered somewhere deep inside, in abidance to the rules, for some its tethered for so long, that it ceases to exist... isnt that a pity?!