Choices, mistakes and life....

All of us make mistakes. It is quite impossible for anyone to go through life without committing mistakes. What matters, is not what mistakes we make, or what it reflects about us/our nature,
what matters, is what those mistakes cost us. Sometimes, learning from a mistake is the only consolation one can get, but it continues to remain what it is meant to be; a consolation, just a feel-good factor, and then life moves on.
Each of us, have been faced with making difficult choices, at some point of time in our lives. What makes them difficult to choose from, is not what these choices represent, but the uncertainty that tags along with both of them. As we walk down the road we chose, we learn that it becomes impossible to retrace our steps, not due to any lack of opportunities, but because, each road leads on to something new, by the time we look back , we realise that too many paths have crossed. To undo them, would take more from us, than proceeding down the road we chose, once upon a time.
And eventually, it is these choices, that determine, who we are and what we are looked upon as. Which is a pity, considering the gamble that we were forced to play initially.
Fortunately for me, I am, happy with the journey so far. Problems have cropped in here and there, but looking at the larger picture, what matters is i am content with how far i have come.
But what i fear now, is not having to make these choices, but being thrust with accepting what the plate has to offer. And none of these sides is greener than the other. the biggest lesson i have learnt from life so far, is that life is fair to all. We all lose and we all win. unfortunately, its our expectations that eventually categorizes our victory and loss. And having said that, I have my own fair share of aspirations. I fear that the delicate thread that connects my present, and the future I have always dreamt off, will be cut off, in a span of few minutes. Unfortunately, working for the future, and living my dream has inter-twined so much with my identity, that I fear I would be shattered. I know that life would move on, but in most cases the past catches up.
Reconciliation is not a way out, somewhere down the line, I must acknowledge, under what terms I have lost and under what terms I have emerged the winner. these terms donot juxtapose under any circumstances. So i will never know, winning under which one of these terms, would have made me happier.
In any case, I alone lose and I alone win, everyone else, even those who genuinely love us, remain mere spectators. But what hurts the most, is that no one, absolutely no one, can understand this fear. Eventually, life has a way of showing you, what singular can mean in the real context. Those who love you, dream along with you, but it started with you, and you alone will endure the loss. Shoulders are always offered to cry upon, but no amount of tears can erase what has been written on the score card.
Eventually those who love you, are reduced to witnesses of what you go through, and you remain the sole recipient of life's blows (and ofcourse kisses!). What I mean to say, is that your experiences, remain your own, sharing does not lessen its impact on you. No two people, travel the same path, even if they travel together. Individuality always prevails. And the why's and the how's of this is something I have no answer to.